May 19, 2010

Kyuki ET ko bhi kabhi pyaar tha!!!


Disclaimer:

This story is a work of pure fiction and does not resemble any person living, dead, or any other fictional character. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Also, author bears no responsibility for any mental, physical or emotional damage to the readers. Please read at your own risk.

Once upon a historic time, on the planet of Krypton, lived a young prince, ET. By birth, he was gifted with immense talent and supernatural powers. He could jump from one planet to another in minutes; lift the moon on his shoulders and blah blah blah... He was very adventurous, naughty and romantic. ;)

At the age of five, on one of his jumping trips through planets, he happened to pass from the kingdom of Ayogya on planet Earth. There he saw and immediately fell in love with the beautiful princess Juliet, who was the most beautiful of maidens he had ever seen. From then on he spent night and day jumping to Earth to catch a glimpse of Princess Juliet.

Finally, at the age of 15, he managed to gather some courage and approached Juliet and proposed to her. However, to his dismay, Juliet was already in love with her school friend, Ranjha, who was the abandoned son of king of Hasthina. On repeated proposals, Princess Juliet finally said “Next month is my Swayamvar; if you love me you can attend the function. However, you will have to bring along Prince Ranjha with you, as my father is against me marrying him and he was not allowed entry to the ‘Swayamvar auditions’. Only on this condition shall I get you a wild card entry in the competition.” Prince ET immediately agreed thinking he could beat anyone and would eventually win her hand at the competition.

On the D-day, as preplanned, ET reached the Swayamvar with Ranjha and also got him registered for the competition. Also present at the Swayamvar were kings and princes from various kingdoms and countries including King of Lanka, Mogambo.

At the prefixed time, the task of winning the hand of the beautiful princess was announced and it was to hit the bull’s eye with the world’s biggest and heaviest bow and arrow. Makers of the weapon had claimed, and truly so, that no earthling could ever even lift the bow. The only person who could do so had to be an Extra-Terrestrial. One and all tried and failed, including Prince Romeo of Hasthina and King Mogambo, who was successful in lifting the bow but could not lift the arrow. It was now left to the last two contestants – Prince ET and Ranjha. Everyone present at the sets of Swayamvar backed ET to win the competition hands down. However, just before his turn, he received a secret letter from Princess Juliet. Letter said “If you love me, let Ranjha win”. Blinded by love, ET decided to let Ranjha win and the only way that could happen was by default qualification and since all others had already failed, ET decided to break the bow so that he would be disqualified and Ranjha would be declared winner. So, stepping on to the podium, he effortlessly lifted the bow and to make the scene look genuine, in trying to set the arrow on the bow, he broke it from the middle and as expected Ranjha was declared winner of the competition by default and Princess Juliet was happy to see that and they were married off.

Dejected and defeated by love, ET, decided to lead a life of celibacy and retreated to the jungles of Sunderban. However, the secret letter somehow landed in the hands of King Mogambo and he reckoned that Ranjha was not a worthy winner as things were contrived for him to win, and he decided to win back Juliet from him at any cost… (to be continued…)


Dec 17, 2009

My School Days


















Those were the days
that brought tears then, now smile
Those were the days
that tortured us, but now are treasured moments
Those were the days
when we thought that the grass is greener on the other side, now we realize our mistake
Those were the days
we thought are not worth spending, now worth living forever
Those were the days
we cursed life, now we curse ourselves for not living them
Those were
My School Days...



Feb 22, 2009

Barber not for watching Bar-ber


A story set on a stereotype Bollywood plot, it takes Bollywood masala one step beyond. Even though it’s a Priyadarshan product, it is clearly visible that the director hardly had any say in front of the King….

Set in an old village in UP – ‘BudBuda’ it carries multiple variations of Billu, the Hajaam and his friendship with a Superstar, who is hopelessly honest but does fall into the trap of lying now and then……. Well I’ll not bore you… So here is what I reckoned of the movie….

Full on acting by Irrfan khan and total publicity stunt for the other khan ‘The King Khan’. Yes, that is what Billu Barber err, I mean Billu is all about.

Movie was full on drama to the hardest core with all kinds of mix n match. It really exploits the brilliances of Rajpal Yadav, Irrfan Khan and ofcourse the two kids, they were just brilliant. Though I felt it was more of a career highlighter of Shahrukh. Movie has clippings from all his past hits and it carries posters of some of his really old movies which infact makes you realize how long he has been around. All said the movie hardly had any thing worth seeing and now when I sit down to write I hardly feel there is anything we can talk about. And guess what, I watched the movie twice. Yes, you are right, I survived it twice and it was not because of the movie or for any one in it. It was more for the love of my friends, couldn’t really disappoint anyone.

Still there were some things worth noticing in the movie and I think I can list them as under:

Points for which movie may be given a try:
1. Billu’s sincerity and love for what he does and his fear that his friend may not remember him anymore now.
2. Rajpal Yadav’s acting; he’s too good and just keeps on coming up with streaks of brilliance every time he is on screen even if there is no scope for that.
3. Friendship angle – it really defines what friendship means and that we don’t forget friends till the end of life even if we are rich or poor (and I actually almost sobbed the first time i watched it).
4. Dance and songs, even though worthlessly inserted in the movie was a welcome change to the at times boring and clueless progression of the movie.
5. Guest House Manager was probably the coolest and funniest part of the movie.
6. And Oh yes the Sexy dressing of Lara, even though Billu struggles to meet the family’s ends meet and Lara is shown mending the roof of their house through out the movie, she still manages to wear deep neck and low cut and almost backless blouses. To keep it simple her dressing is HOT.

Mani’s Recommendation: One time watch, please do not go second time even if you love your friends….!!!! :-)


Jan 16, 2009

Teri Tasveer


Teri tasveer ko aankhon mein basakar sote hain
teri awaaz ko kaano mein bharkar jagte hain
tere khayaalon ko saanson mein samaakar rahte hain
hum to tujhe apni duniya ka sartaaj banakar jeete hain...



Jan 4, 2009

pyaar se haath jo thama hamara khusiyon ka gulista mil gaya
nigah bhar ke dekha hume to roop ye nikhar gaya
mohabbat yoon bhar di hamari raahon me ke phool hi phool khil gaye
apna hume jo bana liya to lakhon diye jal gaye
karam hai yeh apka ke hume bahaaron ki duniyaa mil gayi
aap kya aaye humaari zindagi me
hume nayi zindagi mil gayi


Jan 2, 2009

1 ke daam me 2!!!

Wow! What the #&%@!!! But must say true value for money, after all where on earth would you get to watch two movies for the price of one? Looks like the ‘Buy One Get One’ syndrome has finally caught up with Bollywood too. Well okay let me explain – With the latest Bolly flick ‘GHAJINI’, one gets the feeling that one is actually watching two movies at one go with one being an Aamir-Asin Starred – ‘Ghajini-Fanaa’

and the other an Aamir- ‘cannot act’ Jiah Khan starred – ‘Ghajini-Gulam’. Yup, I am not kidding, this is exactly what I felt mid-way through the movie as it constantly kept swapping from one plot to another with help of utility characters which were there just to shift the movie from one to the other. It was like I was at a multiplex and kept changing screens to watch two movies at the same time! As once there would be the cute and bubbly Asin romancing Aamir and then very next moment it was the ‘blonde’ Jiah with Aamir! It simply was difficult to keep track of who is who, once the movie started!

And, the man after whom the movie is named – Mr. Ghajini Dharmattma is almost no where to be seen till the climax of this three and a half hour madness (looks like the director thought that the name is enough!).

Oh! And I almost forgot the action part! Well how can I do that? After all the movie is about Sanjay’s revenge for the death of his beloved and surprisingly no one except the hero has any weapons through out the movie and even he has it just for the heck of having one (looks like cost cutting here too..... :-P)! Seriously, action is the most entertaining part of the movie for an instance – when Sanjay punches a goon, he is shown lying flat on his stomach with his head turned 180° (What made it funnier was the fact that Jayee sitting in the next chair, buried her face in her palms and was making creaky noises and kept saying “I can’t watch this any more”).

Definitely one of the worst of Aamir, the movie is a mindless torture even for the kung-fu loving southerners, who enjoy the high flying actions sequences of Allu Arjun and Rajnikanth.

However, there was a good part of the movie that Sarit brought to light later. It was the fact that we watched the movie at a theatre which was next to our place and so we could just quietly slip in to our rooms once the mindless torture was over and we didn’t have to take a bus home after the movie at 1.30 a.m. in the night.


Mani’s Recommendations for:

People looking for entertainment: Don’t watch it!

People looking for Value for money: Can try it (u get two movies for the price of one)

People looking for Comic action: May try it!

People wanting mindless gross comedy and action: It’s a MUST watch!


Dec 9, 2008

khuda Jaane


Kaise kahe aapse ki dil mein kaisa uufaan uthta hai

jab aap aankhon ke saamne hote hai
baatein to hum aapse karte hain
par lagta hai jaise khuda se mulakat karte hain...



Dec 4, 2008

Panaah


Unko dil me panaah di humne yeh soch kar ke woh dil me baithe hain
par kambakht kisko thi khabar ke woh hi hamara dil jalane ka intezaam kiye baithe hain...




Dec 2, 2008

When Manish is not quite Manish!

One of Manish’s friends used to call him MANISH COCONUT AGARWAL. And that was because like a coconut, he used to show a hard (read: cold and arrogant) exterior while in his heart he had always been a softie (sensitive, perceptive, compassionate and even sentimental!). But then that was quite an understatement because Manish has many, many facets that keep revealing themselves in various situations. Here is a peek into one of his particularly interesting and funny facets.

This is not a visual facet but an audible one – one that you can have access to if you are on a phone call with him at a time when he is surrounded by many people and when he would rather not have them eavesdrop into his conversation! The sheer auditory entertainment his discomfiture provides to the person at the other end of the call is quite a treat in itself, so much so that one would possibly think that getting to watch his expressions would have been less fun than hearing his embarrassed voice modulations and extremely wary choice of words!

A written description can certainly not match the fun of the ‘live comedy show’ that Manish quite involuntarily makes of such phone conversations, yet sample one if you want to have part of the fun that his friends have:

Setting: Manish is in his office car surrounded by his colleagues when a friend calls.

Friend: Hey, how are you?

Manish: Chal raha hai yaar…. Tu bata…..

Friend: Kya baat hai yaar, I can hear a woman’s voice near you! Lucky man huh? Have lots of nice girls in the office na?

Manish: Hmmmmmmm. He he he he…… he he… Nai yaar, not very nice. Hyderabad food is just so-so!

Friend: Achchha so now food has become a metaphor for girls????

Manish: Hmmmmmm….Yahaan weather achchha hai abhi….

Friend: Really? Lots of girls around?

Manish: Haan woh to hai par kuch khaas nahi hai… kafi pheeka khana hai…….he he he he…hmmm… Toh kaisa hai?

Friend: Koi pasand aayi kya?

Manish: Hmmmm…nahi re yaha ka khana nahi jamta aur tu bata Kaisa hai?

Friend: Ya pahle se hi pasand karke rakha tha kya?

Manish: He he he….. kaisa hai tu?

Friend: Arre why are you harping on the same note yaar?

Manish: Hmmmmmm.. hmmm….. eh he hehe…. Aur bata kya chal raha hai?

Friend: Arre you tell me tu kaisa hai? Are you liking it there at Hyderabad?

Manish: Hmm! Hmm! Everything is fine…sab changa hai… hmmmm……

Friend:  Have a lot of people around you? Why are you sounding so hesitant and formal?

Manish: Haan…. He he he he……aur bata….. hmmmmmm… bas abhi ja raha hoon office….

Friend: Achchha how is everyone at home in kolkata?

Manish: Haan yaar, sab thik thak….. hmmmmm….. toh….?

Friend: Arre toh kya? Mere liye ek Hyderabadi ladki fix kar de na….. tu apni setting toh kar hi chuka hoga? Bata na koi hai ki nahi!

Manish: Yeah yeah….. everything is fine…. So waha sab kaisa hai bol….. hmmmm?

Friend: Why are you talking in this stupid way? More than half of your words don’t make any sense man!

Manish: e he he he he….. hmmm…… haan? (almost inaudibly) achchha can we talk later…… too many people in the car….

Friend: alright! You’ve become such a bore after going to Hyderabad!

Manish: he he he he he he…… hain…..? achchha chal thik hai… hain? Phone rakhta hoon haan? I’ll call you later….. chal take care…..

Friend: whatever!

Manish: he he he…. Ok, bye …. Haan? Talk to you later….. hmmmm…… bye… bye…..

Friend: kya yaar!

Manish: (again, almost inaudibly) samjha kar yaar….. (audibly now) hmmmm…..okay … haan? Tata……hmmm….. bye…. Hmmmmm

(the exasperated friend has already hung up a couple of seconds back!)


Nov 30, 2008

Time to Change

With the latest slap on the face of every Indian, I wonder if we are ever going to realize the fact that these are not just attacks on India or humanity or mankind. This is a strong and blunt WAKE UP call given to us by our not-so-friendly neighbour.

I do not intend to mean that we go around changing everything and everybody as there is hardly anything that we can do to change the World, our Country, Society, Community or even our families, for that matter. However, we are highly capable of changing ourselves. And, if we do, I am sure, we will all be able to agree that the world would be a lot better place to live in.

Yes, we have to stop being hypocrites. We have to stop being biased. We have to stop discriminating based on one's Nationality, Region, Religion, Caste, Language, Food and all that divides India.

Even, as I write, I know it is very difficult and not all can be achieved. Still, I am up for it and am trying to change myself. I hope to find you alongside me.